You're a Procrastinator. What Do You Do About It?

Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 35

It's true, I'm a big procrastinator, and that's been reflected on my studying behavior. So I eagerly read Michael Masterson's article on how to overcome it ................... and was disappointed. I has done this on some ways or another and have failed. Usually, people think that procrastination is a result of laziness. Here is what an experienced therapist have to say about this issue:

Quote:

Contrary to popular opinion, procrastination is rarely caused by laziness, although it may appear so both to the procrastinator and to an outside observer. Just as addictions have, what we call in EFT, an “anxiety driver”, so does procrastination. On the one hand, the task may feel annoyingly inconsequential, an intrusion in our lives, forced on us by someone else or someone else’s deadline, bringing up old issues of control and difficulty with authority. On the other hand the task may feel overwhelming. We don’t know where to start. We may doubt our skills, our ability to complete the task, or we may have unrealistic expectations of perfection and are afraid of failure. Sometimes fear of success can be the driver behind the procrastination, implying being that success carries with it increased expectations of responsibility and perfection.
--Nancy Gnecco, M.Ed., L.P.C., EFT Master

My personal experience have confirmed this to me. So I personally have found that goal setting is almost useless if I don't eliminate the underlying cause of procrastination. This is something individual, maybe someone who doesn't have big anxieties can overcome it with goal setting and a dose of motivation, but someone with big anxieties will not. Fortunately, I have found my personal way to overcome it, not goal setting but a way to deal with my anxieties. Goal setting has still it's place of course. I was looking for something that might help me ease the release of my anxieties and speed up the process..................

Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 35

Precisely yesterday, I got an email telling me that I supposedly returned the course in April. That's not true, I have returned nothing and so I replied. But the email made me realized that I bought the course back on March and I still have to do the restaurant letter. Facing the fact that I have been procrastinating it, I looked inside and found not just anxiety, but sheer terror on the idea of writing the letter and making me known as a copywriter. I'm not exagerating, it felt partially as pain in my abdomen and at times I felt on the verge of fainting. It made me feel that my copywriting dreams were futile, that I'll never be able to fulfill them. What I did to treat it is beyond the scope of this forum, so I'll only say that I did a procedure for emotional healing. I still feel that there is anxiety remaining, but the terror is gone. Yet the anxiety is enough to make me put off the task, so more work is required.

Joined: 16 Aug 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Lake Isabella, CA

I am a huge procrastinator. My mentor and business partner is not, that is, in a large part, why he is my mentor. H e is also very wealthy and as far as I can tell it is because he does not procrastinate.

Per my observations here is why he is successful; His "stuff" is not terribly pretty or special but he offers several products to a global market and he relies greatly in numbers -that the sheer vastness of the world out there will be all he needs to net one or ten BIG FISH! And he does and that's all it takes. It works for him consistently time after time. And heck, he can't even spell! But it doesn't stop his letters from going out or his products from hitting the world stage.

So I say this. Most procrastination is from perfectionism.

In business, find a way to just do it even if it is not perfect, just get it out there! Grow a thick skin and don't let detractors wear you down! Keep moving forward dont look left or right just forward! Forget what psychologists say! Hope this helps!

Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 35

hankwhittier@yaho.com wrote:

So I say this. Most procrastination is from perfectionism.

In business, find a way to just do it even if it is not perfect, just get it out there! Grow a thick skin and don't let detractors wear you down! Keep moving forward dont look left or right just forward! Forget what psychologists say! Hope this helps!

How to grow a thick skin? How to ignore detractors so that they could not affect us without the detrimental effect of swallowing our negative emotions? And more importantly, how to continue to push our way forward when the case is that we are struggling to push against a big wall? Remember that not everyone is equal and there are people who need to fight a Goliath bigger than a mountain. We just cannot forget about psychologists.

Joined: 28 Nov 2008 Posts: 17 Location: Dallas, TX

Once upon a time, in a tiny little town, lived a boy who lived in fear. In fact, he was almost haunted by fear. He was taunted by the fear of failure so much that there were days he didn't even try. At all.

Oh, he had grand dreams. But, each time he expressed them, his parents and the elders of the community were always telling him how foolish they were. How he couldn't do this or that.

Soon, he never expressed those ideas and dreams for fear of what the others would say. But those grand dreams of success and fame kept coming. One day, he simply tried to do one of the things that they told him he wasn't capable of doing. Much to his surprise, not only was he able to do it, it almost seemed easy.

As he grew, he was always remembering how many times he was told he was incapable of doing something. Remembering that first success, he tried anyway. In almost every try there was some measure of success. With each small success his confidence grew. Soon it seemed nothing was impossible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You will NEVER know what you are capable of unless you try. Some of the most famous people in the world have had to overcome many obstacles to get where they are. Edison, who invented the light bulb, failed over a thousand times before he reached success. But he never gave up trying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have had those panic attacks you speak of. Living in fear of what others would think or say or believing in what they told me. Eventually, I had enough of it and just decided to blaze ahead and try. The worst that could happen would be that I would fail. So what? If I did, I made up my mind I would just try again.

I have had some amazing successes and some huge flops. But, with each failure, I just kept trying. I rebuilt from the ashes.

I think the key to having the courage to try is having a plan in place for what you'll do if you fail. My advice: Just give it a shot. If you fail, analyze your failure, make adjustments and TRY AGAIN!

You can do it! You'll never know what you are capable of if you never try.

Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 22

This post on procrastination is very insightful. I struggle with procrastination myself, and I know that in a lot of cases it is the only thing between me and success. I have seen what happens when I finally get up of of my a** and do something, e.g. go ahead and write that ad or finish that story, but it seems that every time I get ready to do something else procrastination will rear its ugly head and get in my way again.

Bob Bly wrote something about this. He said, "Do something today to make it happen. Results are generated by activity, not emotions." I have that written on my bulletin board and I refer to it often. For me the key word in that quote is "today". Do something, ANYTHING, that will move you forward TODAY. Break it down into small bite-size steps that will add up to a big step when completed and before you know it you are further along than you were before you started.

Joined: 15 Dec 2009 Posts: 9

Hi, all -- my 2 cents --

I ordered the "Accelerated" program over two years ago. What happened to me was overkill -- I tried to cram it all into my head at once and got burned out, disgusted, discouraged, and put it away.

Just recently came back, and finally posted my Restaurant letter. Now awaiting feedback. Also sent in a headline and lead for the Reactivation email spec assignment over Christmas holiday, and waiting to hear about that too.

My thinking was that I was in a great position to write a good Reactivation appeal because of my own situation -- I feel I understand the core reasons that we hem and haw and delay taking action. It's about definitions and self-perception. And thinking about it won't get it done. So I just decided it was time to make a move, and I did.

I'd been meaning to quit procrastinating . . . but I kept putting it off . . .

Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Washington, DC

Thanks to everyone for your candid thoughts (Nightwrighter, you have me smiling). The following is a long read…

Now this probably applies JUST to me…but only when I FINALLY get sick and tired of watching others—sometimes with less talent (in MY mind anyway, smile) BUT who possess the moxie to get into action and create momentum—others who begin to hit their targets and actually move toward their dreams—well, then it keeps hitting home how much I hold myself back. It seems that when I get mad in a healthy, motivating way (like why NOT me?!), THAT's when I get engaged. I know...shame on me…

I’ve exposed myself to all the good psycho-babble: see it, believe it, achieve it...visualize it...what do you say when you talk to yourself...millionaire mindset…great execution…think and grow rich...start late, finish rich...I know what to do so WHY don't I do it...goal setting....eat the elephant one bite at a time...break up the goals into small tasks…sigh. I’ve poured a ton of good information into my spirit, but I need to get that stuff fired up in my BELLY.

I AM struggling to prioritize as I take my courses, start a project with my coach, begin participating in peer reviews, work my 9-5 which has morphed into a 9-9, and take care of my marriage, my finances, my health, my house, my plants, my car, my CATS! Aye-chee-wah-wah…actually I’m trying to make up for lost time in my life, so I also have to remember: "easy-does-it-but-do-it," right?

Folks—if anyone’s still reading—I’m just keeping it real. I’ve worked hard to overcome some adversities, and have invested considerably to retrain my belief system that I can BE, HAVE and DO something really wonderful. Then…suddenly…in my 50’s I start to SEE my real gifts manifest in the form of the written word. Candidly, that revelation has been a cultural shock to my system—after decades of searching, and schlepping along, followed by more searching (and schlepping), stumbling through years of mediocrity, punctuated by the occasional flashes of brilliance.

Of course, this is WAY too simple a concept for a “complicated” gal like me: that when I really want something BADLY enough, ONLY then am I disciplined enough to do whatever it takes to get it, so my prayers are for desire AND discipline; can anyone else relate? No…this is not the optimal way; but until I wear the skin of impending success a little bit more comfortably, this may be the path that gets me through. I’m trusting that nothing is lost in my universe, and that when I get off my assets, everything else will properly align. I’m not feeling depressed or somber or morose—just being honest and accountable.

Well, if nothing else I guess I can say I did a little writing today….not structured the AWAI way of course, but writing nonetheless!

Thanks for hanging in there with me; peace, love, and hope eternal to you all…Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and happy new DECADE!

Deb

Joined: 09 Jun 2009 Posts: 81

Nightwriter and debbiewrites, I was blessed and encouraged from your post. I have had the six figure course since I believe 2004. I did finish it, but I never did anything with it. I didn't feel confident enough to go for it...then between taking care of my son and my sick mom it was really hard to find the time.

Since then I have reread and done the exercises several times. I kept asking the Lord why this was so hard to comprehend? Because I finally found something that I love to do and that is to write.

You see I have no prior writing experience except writing letters to family and friends. In school I always took a zero because I didn't know how to write a book report or essay. No one took the time to teach me. I'm the type that needs hands on step by step instruction.

I have made my mind up to not give up this year and I haven't. I finally got it into my thick head that I can do this because I have seen my writing improve. I still have a long way to go...but I can write. No good at grammar but I can write.

You should have seen my first draft at my Restaurant Sales Letter...looked like a 1st grader wrote it, LOL. So you see I have gotten better...because of fear I do procrastinate a lot, but the Lord is helping through this...seems like it taking forever.

I just need to remember what Joyce Meyer says...”Do it Afraid!”

Since I have been praying for God to give me new brain cells daily I have been able to comprehend better, things are sticking with me, finally.

Better quite babbling, don't know why I said all of this...”Have a great New Year everyone!”

Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Washington, DC

Dear MJSDLS:

Thanks for the reply!

Until a few years ago, I NEVER saw myself as a writer. Bona fide writers I knew (people who wrote/published SOMETHING, like a book, articles, etc.) seemed to share some common traits: they often cited that since childhood they wrote poetry, wrote on the wall, wrote on toilet tissue paper, carried around composition notebooks, and on and on. I identified OUT as a result, because I never shared those experiences. However, what I DID come to understand—as I started my first college course (English/writing) five years ago and began to examine my relationship with writing with brand new eyes—was that as far back as I could remember, something strange came over me when I wrote...anything.

I lose myself in the words…OH the words! Nothing else matters…I am consumed by it! There is no effort too great when it comes to picking my words with care…words designed to influence and persuade my reader to reach my conclusions. Long before I understood the “secret” structure of copywriting, it was vital to me to choose words that evoked very specific emotions, painted a picture, or that told a story.

My menopausal brain began to remember all the times (“Quaid, open your mind…open your MIND!”) I’d become rejuvenated when faced with a writing task, no matter how late or how otherwise tired I was. The hours would quietly tick away and I would RELUCTANTLY break for water and potty. I KNEW I had to go to work in the morning, yet 2:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m. would find me giddy and dry-mouthed as I banged away on the keyboard like a woman possessed.

So MJSDLS, you please pray for me and I’ll pray for YOU Smile

that we’ll both keep pushing toward the myriad “little” things that will birth our dreams!

More than ANYTHING (other than maybe a bit more cash—giggles) I want to be able to stop in the middle of the day and,

without seeking anyone’s permission,

take a long walk in the National Arboretum…

let the sun kiss my face…

drink in the sights, sounds, and smells…

and rejoice that I can.

Deb <><

Joined: 08 Sep 2009 Posts: 31 Location: PHILADELPHIA

My Happy New Year wish that we all "Do It Afraid" !

May you look back on 2009 with more joy than sorrow-
Get excited by all the possibilities of tomorrow.

Feel content with where you are today.
And when fear stops you, may you do it anyway!

Joined: 09 Jun 2009 Posts: 81

Yes, Happy New Year to all of you. Yes Debbie I will keep you in prayer also. Boy this is getting me excited about this year. I do have my goals set. Just need to break them down into weeks and days. This year is our year! yeah, Praise God!

Joined: 16 Dec 2009 Posts: 5

I thought I would just toss in a couple of things on this subject. I procrastinate with the best of them sometimes. I find that setting mini goals when I am in full procrastination mode helps. I use an egg timer set at 5 minutes. I focus on writing for 5 minutes then allow myself a little break if I want one. I know I can focus for at least 5 minutes. Usually once I get started, the momentum carries me through. Seeing myself making progress builds confidence to continue. It also helps me form better habits.

I also used to wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety attacks. I found that if I listened to some positive audio recordings as soon as I woke up, I would quickly relax and fall asleep again while listening to a calm voice drowning out the panic. I would concentrate on what was being said instead of the voice of panic in my mind. I did that for many many months and now rarely have to do it. It helped me break the cycle. It was a very effective strategy for me.

Cheers
Gerri

Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Washington, DC

Dear Gerri:

Thanks for weighing in, and I KNOW that you speak the truth, because it immediately resonated within my spirit! (That-which-we-resist-persists, huh?) Plus, setting small, measurable, achievable goals is what ALL the gurus emphatically assert is as essential to success as life, breath, food, shelter, and clothing.

Well, I have a nasty little secret: one I don't share often because it's embarrassing Embarassed

; a spitirual stronghold that's robbing me of my dreams.

The TV...(sigh) Rolling Eyes

...there...I said it...

My addictive personality, set loose even on good things (especially when absent of adult supervision...HA ), can become self-destructive, so Lawd-have-mercy when it's allowed free reign on the questionable ones.

I know there is a place and time for me to enjoy National Geographic, History Channel, A&E, TLC, TDC, HGTV. But since moderation and I are STILL uneasy bedfellows—and I have YET to realize my dreams—obviously now is NOT that time. So I just removed the TV and HD receiver from my home office ONE hour ago. YAY! (Step ONE: admit the problem.) Sad

Darkness likes to stay undercover, where its power is cloaked in mystery, slime, guilt, and shame. But I’m SO sick of myself, that I’m more worried about a life of mediocrity that I am about ego, or false pride.

So the fight is on, and that starts with exposing the dirt to the light…watching the nasty little thing dry up and wither away.

Baby steps…breathe…baby steps…breathe…

Peace and love to you all, Deb <><

Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Washington, DC

Friends:

I'm doing what the winners do...setting some measurable, deadline-oriented goals and then taking whatever steps I must—big or small (right now, mostly small)—to gain some momentum.

Said NO to some things in the past two weeks...and it hurt, but NOT moving towards my dreams hurts even more.

Stopped yakking and got finally started working through the online version of the course...not skipping over anything this time...close to writing the restaurant letter...wanted it to be perfect…but a good letter at SOME point is much better than a perfect one NEVER finished, eh?

Target: submit the restaurant letter for review by Sunday, March 7. I may be whispering this to just the universe (this post HAS been quiet for many weeks now), but that’s OK. Some of my most important commitments have been between the Man upstairs and me, anyway.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired; have plenty of issues/reasons/excuses, but while I’m talking about them, they continue to do push-ups, and push me down.

Peace and blessings to you all...watch me and I'll watch you Surprised

)...Deb <><